


Withdrawl

by Thisloveissexybutitslittle



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Cute, Drug Addiction, Gen, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, M/M, Multi, Other, Past Lives, Past Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-08
Updated: 2019-04-08
Packaged: 2020-01-06 14:57:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18390698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thisloveissexybutitslittle/pseuds/Thisloveissexybutitslittle
Summary: Ethan helps Spencer make the right choice New Orleans.





	Withdrawl

He kept himself buried in Ethan’s arms, the withdrawal symptoms almost through with wrecking his body. The vials and needle are in his satchel in the doorway, in a pile of clothes. Gideon had assured him he could continue the job even if it wasn't in so many words but stupid metaphors and mixed messages. He was practically at the end of his nightmare's part one, but even then, would he start using as soon as he went back to his apartment? As soon as he was alone with the memories of Raphael, Charles, and Tobias.

Maybe he should stay in New Orleans, where he could play house with Ethan as they had promised all those years ago. In college they had made a plan for their lives; Jobs at the bureau, they’d choose an apartment as soon as they graduated from the academy and come home to each other. It wouldn’t have worked even if Ethan hadn’t been drinking himself to an early grave, but now. Now Ethan seemed stable, now they could stay clean together. Of course, his team was on his mind, and they had taken Elle’s departure hard and his kidnapping harder. Morgan would probably have Garcia track him down. JJ would take it personally because she still blamed herself. Gideon would be disappointed, after all, he had tried so hard to help him through the trials the FBI threw his way. Prentiss didn’t know him as well but he had been excessively cruel to her. Hotch would blame himself for not doing more to help even it would have cost the team dearly. They would hold it together in the end, right?

“I can hear you thinking, Spencer,” Ethan’s hands moved to his hips. “You okay? Are you gonna be sick again?”

The agent shook his head gently, “No, Ethan. I’m fine, sorry for waking you.” Spencer sighed, “You don’t have to do this. Ethan, why are you doing this?”

“I can’t help it. I love you. I know we’ve grown apart and I know you’ve changed but, right now. Right now, man, I feel like I’m eighteen again. It’s one night but with you, that’s enough for me. It's more than anyone will ever deserve of you. Okay?” The musician was speaking more to the past then the drug addict buried in his chest.

“What if I stayed? What if I got a job out here. If I came to your performances? If we lived together if we were together?” Spencer asked, beginning to think he was going to be sick again.

Ethan peppered his forehead with kisses, “You’re delirious with a fever. You're not giving up your dream job to be some professor in New Orleans. You had your heart set on joining the bureau since they came and gave that lecture at Caltech, Spencer.”

“You did too.” The phrase was huffed out with annoyance and all traces of sleep gone.

Ethan pressed their lips together, “I had my heart set on you.”

“Not anymore?” Spencer’s body trembled from chills.

“I love you. But, not in that way anymore. We would be easy, you’re not the kinda guy who does easy.”

“Drugs are easy.”

“And yet here you are. You haven’t used in almost sixty-eight hours. You hate easy.”

Spencer pushed himself up and reached for the bowl on the dresser before spewing out stomach acid. Hot tears flowing from his eyes in sync with each harsh breath. “I- I want something to be easy, Ethan! I don’t want to go back, I was so rude and I hated everyone! I don’t- I can’t face them.”

“Hey, hey. Calm down genius, breathe. It wasn’t the real you Spencer. You're dorky, sweet, and awkward. They know it wasn’t you.”

“Are you sure?” His voice represented the voice of a fifteen-year-old from college, before the academy, before they’d parted ways.

**_“Are you sure my Mom will be okay tonight?”_ **

Ethan regretfully nodded, brushing Reid’s hair from his clammy forehead. “Yeah, I am.”

**_“Totally, Spencer. Dr. Norman is there and you’ll right be back in Vegas tomorrow.”_ **

Sipping water to remove the bitter taste from his mouth, the genius smiled. “Thank you for being here for me after all this time, Ethan.”

**_“I hope you're my friend forever, Ethan. You’re always here.”_ **

The older man hummed, “I’ll be here for you whenever you need me.”

**_“I will be, Reid. No doubt about it.”_ **

Spencer’s bony hand grasped his, stopping his hand from playing a song’s keys on top of the sheets. “Gideon was right, you’re good at the piano.” The doctor smiled.

_**“You always do that with your hands. Maybe you should take up the piano? It's only a mathematical formula and I’d like hearing you play.”** _

“Only for you.”

**_“Maybe I will.”_ **


End file.
